YoDip

In my search for ways to have snacks without breaking our diet, I created a concoction last night. I call it YoDip. Super easy, nonfat, and yummy.

YoDip

2 cups Nonfat Plain yogurt (220 calories)
1/2 packet onion soup mix (50 calories)

Stir thoroughly. Chill overnight for best results. Serve with lowfat crackers or chips or veggies - whatever blows your skirt up. They way I figure it, it's about 9 calories per tablespoon for the dip (check the package for calorie count on your dipable substance of choice) and none of those calories are from fat. Yay.

Next time, I'm going to try creating a sweet dip for rice cakes. I'll let you know how it goes - unless it's really nasty, in which case I'll carry the recipe to my grave. ;o)

A True Hero

You've probably heard all about the plane that crash landed in the Hudson River last month. Thanks to the skill and cool-headedness of Capt. "Sully" Sullenberger, all 155 people aboard lived to spend more time with their families.

Tonight on 60 minutes, they aired an interview Katie Couric did with the courageous captain (read an article about the interview here). Everything I've seen of the man has impressed the hell out of me - starting with the amazing landing, and continuing with every appearance he's made on TV. He's a rare human being. A hero who doesn't apologize for being heroic, and neither does he trot out a load of hubris. He's not even comfortable with being called a hero, because he knows he was just doing his job.

In my book, that makes him even more heroic.

Hell, the guy is still wracking his brain trying to figure out if he could've done the whole thing another way. Maybe he's thinking there was some way to avoid those damn birds, but I don't think there's anything else he could've done to make that landing any sweeter than it was. They showed a video caught by some security camera, and damn if he didn't set that baby down like he was sliding into home.

He gets hero of the year, if you ask me.

Of course, I could've slapped Couric, but I never liked her anyway. It was almost like she was trying to take away from man's accomplishment. Feh. I know she was going for the whole 'human interest' thing, but I think the story has all that without trying to pry weakness out of a man who had better things to do than cry or pray or shiver in fear. If he had taken the time to do those things, we'd be mourning the loss of 155 people instead of celebrating the fact that they're alive. Thank goodness a cooler head prevailed.

So, this one is for you Sully. Thank you.

Ta Da

Well, I finished Nano's first draft today. I don't remember how many first drafted books* that is now - I have at least one I never finished beyond that - but if I get this one through the edits, I'll be at #6. Five years, six books... not too shabby.

Let's see...

Spectacle
Caldera
AWJ (never finished beyond first draft)
Blink
RTL
Manhunter
Nano
(*okay, now I remember)

Of course, there are several I never got all the way to THE END on. C&D is one of those, along with one I call Redemption, another known as Be Careful (short for Be Careful What You Wish For). Add to that several shorts: Fire, Mirror, Haudego, Pigwell, Bad Fluffy Bunny, etc. - and that's something to be proud of.

I haven't sold yet, but I am proud. I'll be even more so when I'm published, but for now I'll bask in the glow.

As for completing Nano to the point where it's ready for other people to read it, I probably should take some time before I edit, but after so much time away already, the only parts still fresh are the ones I did recently. With that in mind, I'm guessing I've already taken my gel time on this project and should just get back to work.

Which, of course, means shifting either Blink or C&D to the back burner again. Hmmm, I wonder if I can work the schedule and do all three.

Time will tell. All I know at this point is that it just feels good to get back to work.

Writer Fix Thyself

Back in Utah, I bought this book - not because I thought I really needed it, but because I respect the author and I figured I could read it later. Problem with that was, I never did. As I was sorting through my store earlier this week, I noticed it again and decided to take it out of the store (can't remember why I even put it in there) so I could actually read it. At this point, I could probably use a little kick in the ass anyway, right? Lord knows kicking my own ass hasn't done me much good this time around. So between store work and school work, I started reading it again. And you know what?

It seems to be working.

Oh, I forgot to tell you what the book is. It's Grow Up America! by Dr. Michael Hurd. If you're not familiar with Dr. Hurd (and you're probably not), he's a psychotherapist with some decidedly new ideas on how to help people the rational way. I used to visit his site on a regular basis, read his 'Daily Dose of Reason', and soak up his knowledge like a sponge.

Anyway, one thing I got just from reading the first couple chapters is a reminder that A is A. Or basically what is, is - and that's all that there is, so make the best of it. Control the things you can control, and get over the rest of it. Sitting around wishing I had an agent isn't going to get me one. I can't control any of them or their reactions to my work. All I can do is write the best stories I can write, and sooner or later the rest will follow. I can't make it happen any sooner by sitting on my ass, whining about the unfairness of it all - or how hard it all is, or how unfair. Neither will pouting over how much I suck. If I think I suck, the only thing to do is to try harder not to suck.

Another thing Dr. Hurd points out is to look at life with optimistic realism. Start every situation with a positive outlook, and adjust to reality as necessary. Negative thoughts only perpetuate themselves. (I'm going from memory here, not quoting - so if I missed the point, correct me, please.) Which means if I think I suck, I will suck. If I hold the thought that I am a good writer, until reality proves otherwise, then I will continue to write well and continue to improve as I receive more information.

Well, duh. I knew that, but I forgot about it. I was spending so much time wallowing in my rejections that I couldn't see what was staring me in the face. I'm a good writer. I know that. I also know there is room for improvement - there's always room for improvement - but those things I need to improve on don't make me a horrible writer or a horrible person.

:grin: Sometimes all it takes is a nudge.

Dr. Hurd doesn't fix people. He shows people how to fix themselves. And I need to work on that just as hard as I work on everything else - harder even because sometimes I can be a slacker.

And on that note, I have to say I wrote 1600 words last night - 1000 on C&D and :drumroll: another 600 on Nano! I might actually finish this book now that I don't think I suck.

Here's hoping all of you have a productive and successful weekend.

=o)

Five Years

So, it's been a half a decade now since I started writing seriously. As you might have noticed from my post a couple days ago, sometimes this fact hits me like a sack of wet cement. (Almost like my 30th birthday and my upcoming 40th in another 16 months.) Sometimes it just gives me pause, and I look back at the things I've learned over those years. Today is one of those look back and ponder days.

Yesterday, Jessica Faust over at BookEnds wrote an excellent post called Rolling with the Punches in which she says: "Give It Five Years... In my opinion, five years is the time you need to really be able to judge whether or not your business is working.". At first this statement about derailed me. Since it's been that exact amount of time for me, I wondered whether this particular tip was going to indicate I should probably chuck this business of writing and take a job at the local grocery store. (How hard can scanning food into a cash register be?) Lucky for me, that isn't what she was trying to say at all. In the second paragraph of that, she goes on to say that at five years look back and evaluate your progress.

Have you learned anything or are you still in the same place you were when you started? I've learned a bunch. I've learned that this isn't anywhere near as easy as I assumed when I started (not the writing part, but the publishing part). I've learned that not everything I want to write is going to mesh with the market - and that sometimes that's okay because writing with the market in mind may mean not being true to myself. (Tried to write for the market - failed miserably.)

True, in some ways I'm still in the same place. After all, I'm not published, I'm not agented, and I'm still adding to my rejection collection. But for the most part, I've grown as a writer. My work now is much tighter and cleaner than it was five years ago.

Additionally, I've grown as writer as it pertains to the business side of this enterprise. My query letters and other submission materials are much better than they were when I started trying to get someone interested in Spectacle. I'm receiving partial requests and full requests. So I must be doing something right. Right? Another thing Ms. Faust mentions is a change in my publishing network, which has certainly happened. (Many times over, as a matter of fact.) I still don't belong to any writerly groups - well, I used to, but that didn't work out - but I have people I can connect with in this business. I have this blog, for instance, and I have a wide range of blogs I read and comment on, which is sort of like a big amorphous writerly group.

So all in all, I'm moving ahead. Not at the rate I originally assumed I'd be moving at, but forward motion shouldn't be discounted even when it's baby steps.

As for the accomplishments of the past five years, I've:

- Written five books (Spectacle, Caldera, Blink, RTL, Manhunter) to THE END.
- Revised and revised and revised all of the above.
- Gotten book six to almost THE END, and I've restarted a series I've been meaning to write for the past three years.
- Written umpteen query letters, synopses, outlines, bios, etc. With each pass getting stronger.
- Had a great CP
- Lost a great CP (has anyone seen my missing CP?)
- Made some awesome new friends (some of whom have also become beta readers - thank you)
- Started and maintained this blog. I've even had some notable people stop by.
- Guest blogged for another blog.
- Wrote and entered a few shorts to competitions and lit journals.
- Started two other blogs (although posting has been sporadic at best)

During all this, I also started homeschooling my daughter, and we've been at that going on four years now. Who knew I could re-learn Algebra, and teach myself enough Chemistry to point her in the right direction?

Looking back, I guess I really don't have anything to bitch about. I'm sure I could've done more to get my career off the runway. I could've sent more queries. I could've learned about the business more before I sent Spectacle out into the world, so maybe it wouldn't have failed so miserably. But what's past is passed, and as much as we might like to, we can't change what's gone before. We can only learn and move forward.

Thanks to Jessica Faust for reminding me about that part. She really is an awesome person - whether she knows how much she's helped me over the years or not.

Your turn. How long have you been writing? What are some of the lessons you've learned over your time in the business? Do you feel like you've grown or are you in the same place you were when you started?

Shhhh

:imagine this in whispers: I don't want to jinx anything, but I wrote some new words last night. Not a lot of words, mind you, but enough to get C&D rolling again. yay. :end whisper:

And on the subject of being quiet, can anyone explain to me why the level of noise seems to be rising? Is it just that I'm creeping up on 40, or is a large portion of our populous really looking forward to being deaf some day?

Years ago, I read a really great article on this noise thing, but right now I'm at a loss as to the name of the writer or the article. He theorized that it had something to do with people wanting to shut out reality and/or their own thoughts by turning their stereos up. (You know, it's really hard to think with the bass booming and some person/band shrieking in your ears.) Made a lot of sense to me then, and it still does.

Not that it's just stereos, iPods, CD players, MP3 players, etc. (You'd be surprised how many kids in this little town blare their iPods - like loud enough to hear across the street.) People seem to be talking louder, too, but maybe that's just a function of the self-induced hearing loss. :shrug:

Thoughts?

Working in the Store

While I pull my head out of whatever orifice it's jammed into at the moment, I'm reading and working on my bookstore. (If you weren't already aware, I sell used books through Amazon. I'm not going to get rich, but it feeds my book-buying addiction, and I hope gives some people who can't afford new books a chance to read.)

Anyway, that's what I've been hip-deep in for the past few days. After we moved in October, I never took the time to reorganize my stock. Around 1500 books in no particular order, spread through three rooms. Ever try to alphabetize that many books? It ain't pretty. Still, considering what a pain it was to find anything, in the long run it'll be worth it.

Oh, and the unhappy circumstance that while I was moving about a third of my stock dropped out of my listings... Well, now that I have them organized and sorted, I'm in the process of relisting those 500 or so books. Weeee.

On the upside, it's keeping my mind off my recent slump. Here's hoping all that physical labor shakes something in my head loose. (Not that there aren't already a lot of things loose up there. They're just the wrong things.)

As for the reading front, I just finished book #13 for the year so far. (If you haven't read G.A. Aiken's dragon books yet, get thee out and buy both. You won't regret it - they're hot.) That's way ahead of last year, and if I read at this pace, I'll be looking at around twice the number read this year than last. I'm hoping I don't have this much time to read all year, but I'm trying to look on the bright side.

How's your life going? Read any good books lately?

Sick of Myself

A couple days ago, Karin Tabke asked what challenges her blog readers face for the coming year, and my answer is - as usual - getting an agent (and all the stuff that comes after that). Karin's reply was simply: "Are you sending stuff out?"

Umm... :hangs head in shame:

Not at the moment.

You see, everything I have ready to send out has already been rejected by damn near everyone on the planet (or at least it feels that way). :cough:loser:cough: Which is why I'm reworking Blink - which hasn't been rejected because it was never queried - and trying to write that cute mystery series I've always wanted to write.

Still doesn't make me any less of a loser. I mean, seriously, five years? (Officially, five years last week was when I typed the first words of Spectacle.) And not five years of working on one book, either. It wasn't even five years where I had to compete with a day job for writing time.

Of course, some days are better than others. Some days I hit the world with a bright outlook and cheerful optimism (no, really... I do). Other days are like today when all I can think of goes kinda like this quote from Shelley:

I could lie down like a tired child,
And weep away the life of care
Which I have borne, and yet must bear.

And then I get totally pissed and sick of myself. (I can only wonder whether you're sick of me yet, too. Wanda Whiner that I am. Boo fucking hoo.)

So, coming back around to the question of the day: Am I sending stuff out? In truth the answer is: No, I'm too much of a big baby to send anything out lately. "What if they don't like it?" "What if they stomp all over it (and by it, I mean the story and therefore my chest) again?" Wah.

I know I can't sell anything if I don't send it out. I know if I never try I'll always fail. I've heard all the maxims. I know all the rah-rah'isms. I've tried all the tricks to get myself out of this slump. Unfortunately, it all comes back to this.

And I'm totally sick of myself.