Global Warming, My Derriere

I just finished shoveling the last batch of snow and guess what? It's snowing again. Where the hell is this global warming they keep promising me? I'm freezing my tiny-hiney off.

Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Global warming makes it cold, too. If I wrote anything with logic that faulty, I'd be laughed out of every publishing house from here to Siberia (where I'm sure they're celebrating the impending onslaught of global warming even as I type this).

Please don't leave me little messages claiming the truth of global warming. I don't buy it any more. You trot out your experts and I'll trot out mine, and we'll see which ones have the most to gain by perpetuating the myth of massive climate change. Somebody's political limelight got some major juice out of this whole thing, lemme tell ya. (*cough, cough* Al Gore *cough, cough*)

Anyway, I try really hard not to let my personal opinions reflect on my blog. But as I sit here listening to the wind whip while my toes slowly go numb from the draft, and I contemplate how much snow I'm going to have to shovel again while my husband will be out making sure his workplace is shoveled clean, I really had to say something.

Global Warming? My Ass. Repeat after me... Cyclical climate change. The earth's been doing this hot/cold/hot/cold thing since well before our ancestors crawled out from under their rock. Am I the only one who remembers being taught in elementary school that an Ice Age was fast approaching??? Seriously. I guess that wasn't scary enough for some people, so they had to make up a new terror to keep us awake at night.

Bah.

And Feh.

If global warming is the fault of 'fossil fuel'* emissions, then please, for my sake, drive your car more often. I'm getting frostbite from all the 'warming'.

*Ever wonder why no fossils are ever found in or around coal and oil??? Just because living things are made of carbon doesn't mean everything that has carbon in it was once alive. Seriously. Or maybe it does and diamonds are a fossil jewel. ;o)