Hewp my bwain mewted

In a world where the Union rules everything, Mary Jones was raised to believe she’s nothing. When she stumbles across an underground society known as The Order, and they choose her for their mission to leave the city, she’s suddenly more important than she’s ever been allowed to know. On the run from the Union Guard, it’s either a chancy survival outside the city, or certain death within. With a man she’s not even sure she can trust as her protector, she travels through territory ravaged by a long-forgotten war, and discovers the truth about the Union. Returning could mean either her death or a chance at freedom for them all, but it’s worth the risk. She just never imagined she might have to force people to want to be free. And she never counted on losing her heart to someone who could betray her.

Needs work. I know. I've been at this off and on for days, though, so all I'm wondering is if I'm on the right track.

Uhh, yeah, I scrapped the other one. I know, I'm a freak. My bwain is dwaining froo my ears.

It's the writing... the writing, I say...

:trails off into maniacal laughter:

If anyone needs me, I'll be donning my 'I love me' jacket and drooling over there in the corner.

btw, if i get one more piece of spam telling me how much oprah loves acai berry, i'm going bat-shit friggin whacko