Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
- Napoleon

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Derailed and Sundry Thoughts

Dontcha just hate when your train of thought (or of life) gets derailed? So, as much as yesterday I wanted to work , I don't want to work tonight.

In honor of not working, I'd like to give you some random thoughts:

Spam... More than being just an annoyance in our email boxes (or a tasty potted meat product), it can actually be useful. (I'm not just talking about the Viagra or the cheap 'Rolex' offers here.) You see, I've been getting a couple of spams a day in my gmail account, and I noticed something the other day. Spam is a great source for character names. This evening I got an email from 'Rupert Ricks'. Doesn't he just sound like the villain of a historical? Too bad I don't write historicals. If you do, feel free to use it.

On the subject of names have you ever met anyone with a really unfortunate name? My father supposedly went to school with a gal by the name of Lorna Lipschitz. That poor girl must've been teased to her wits' end. I've met some really poorly named people, but I'll refrain from mentioning them here. They know who they are, and really, why add to their suffering. How about people who should've had normal names but their parents couldn't spell? I one knew of a guy named 'Brain' and another named 'Adrain'. And who... who I say... decided that Simian was a good name for a baby? Simian Rice, the football player, immediately comes to mind. Did his parents not know that Simian means 'ape' or did they not care?

I wonder about these things sometimes.

Off on the subject of kids. Yesterday I saw a little girl--she couldn't have been four--riding her bigwheel down the middle of the street. She rolled right into the intersection, without looking, and hung a Louie. No one went after her. No adults were visible. I watched for several minutes and no one went looking for her. I assume she decided to take her bigwheel for a spin around the block, because she never came back. I also didn't hear of her ending up as some idiot's hood ornament, thank goodness. (This is a small town. I would've heard.) When my daughter was that age, she wasn't allowed outside without my supervision, and she was never out of my sight even then. (And I had a fenced in yard.)

Onto other stuff, did anyone watch the Libertarian Presidential Debate and Election? It was on CSPAN this weekend. I'm not a Libertarian, but I wanted to see what they had to offer. It wasn't pretty. One candidate was a glad-handing, smarmy thing - stereotypical 'politician'. Plus, you know how the old adage is to watch out for people whose eyes are too close together? Well, this guy had one eye that was bigger than the other. It was truly bizarre. Another candidate had really really bad hairplugs. (Poor guy.) The only female candidate was for anything anyone else was for. She just wants everyone to get along. One of her most memorable statements was along the lines of 'People shouldn't make judgements.' And then she promptly made a few. One of the state reps looked like a cartoon mouse I remember from childhood. Another guy looked like a hippy version of Santa. Don't get me wrong. I see just as many loons when I watch the other political parties. I make my little observations all the time. My husband just laughs. He's awesome that way.

I'm an observer. I watch. I listen. Have you ever spent some time watching CSPAN? Some of those senators need personal shoppers. Seriously. Who buys their ties??? Some of the members of government are strange looking, too. One guy looks like he crawled out of a Dr. Seuss book. He scares me. Remember when we were kids and some classmate would tape the end of his nose to his forehead? That's what this guy looks like. I swear you can look right up the guy's nose. To borrow a often used word from my teen: "Gross".

Or have you ever spent some time reading the ticker on any news network (including ESPN)? The typos are killer, but sometimes the clarity of meaning truly stinks. I wish I could think of some examples, but they escape me right now. Watching those really gives one perspective on how NOT to write, though. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, but I'm also not getting paid to write copy for CNN or MSNBC. I hope to someday get paid to write, so I try to keep my writing error-free. I don't, however, get paid to blog, so I don't watch myself as closely here. (And I don't proofread before I post - shame on me.)

I expect (hope?) that someday I will be on television somewhere talking about my books. Maybe someone watching will notice something odd about me, maybe point it out to their family and they'll all have a good laugh. Have fun, folks.

Oh, and just so you don't think I'm a total ass, I don't make fun of people with actual physical defects or disabilities. That's not fun, and those people can't help it. (I know the one senator can't help the way he looks. I don't joke about him. He scares me.)

In closing, I will leave with this final thought from Steven Wright: On the other hand... there are different fingers.

Good night, and don't forget to tip your waitress, folks. (Just remember to set her upright again before you leave.)



L. Shepherd said...

All politicians look like that to me. It always looks like they can barely stand the people they're asked to talk to but are desperately trying. Then they all go home to sleep in a coffin and sneer there, alone in the dark.

Travis Erwin said...

Funny you should mention names. In yesterdays' paper there was a wedding announcement for a guy named Richard Box the proud son of Pandora and Gary Box.

Pandora Box and to think she married into that name.