Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
- Napoleon

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


My cat in all her glory is a sixteen pound bundle of fur and fangs and claws and purrs and snuggly-goodness. She's pretty sure she's not actually a cat. Human maybe. For a while I think she thought she was a dog, since she only spent three weeks with her mother and was fostered in a home full of pooches. She used to fetch, and she regularly barks at the birds. All in all she's a pretty neat person.

But she's also a brat.

You see, Kira is an insanely picky person when it comes to her catfood. For the first few years of her life she would only eat Maxximum Nutrition in dry food, and Special Kitty (tuna flavored only) for the wet. Not a problem except you can only buy either of those foods at Walmart and the closest one is an hour away. One day, a couple years back, she decided she no longer liked the dry food. She tasted it, spit it out and stared at me as if to say 'what's this crap?' After trying a couple other brands - none of which she would even do more than sniff - she finally ate Purina Cat Chow Indoor Formula. "Great," I thought. They carry that stuff locally, and it's cheaper than the other stuff. And since I no longer had to go to Walmart for the dry stuff, I convinced her to try Fancy Feast for the wet stuff. (Of which, she refuses to eat anything that says grilled or flaked, or that has gravy or chunks. If it says 'FEAST', chances are she'll eat it.)

Everything was just swell. Until last week when I opened a new bag of Purina and she wouldn't even try it. One sniff and she turned her nose up. If looks could kill, I would've been her next meal instead of the stuff in her bowl. So much for that. I tried Friskies. No that either.

This is getting expensive, to say the least.

This morning I called Purina, certain they were to blame. I was sure that for some unknown reason they had changed the formula for that particular food. Ummm... Nope. The gentleman on the other end assured me that their indoor formula hasn't changed since January 2007. It's not them. It's just my stupid cat. He did suggest that maybe the bag had been stored next to something that gave off an aroma my cat wasn't keen on, but short of tracking down which store I bought the bag at and ferreting out what it might have been stored next to, the notion didn't help me. (He was a great customer service rep, btw. He's even sending me a coupon for a free bag of food, which I'm sure Kira won't eat, but it was a nice gesture.)

So, this morning, I'm off to the store again to buy a bag of IAMS. If she doesn't like that, I'm well and truly screwed.

I know, I know... Sooner or later, the cat will eat. She has to, right? But here's the thing. This started last Thursday. Since then, she's eaten less than a handful of dry food (plus two cans of Fancy Feast). She usually eats a cup a day (and a can of Fancy Feast once or twice a week). And I know she's large enough that a few days without eating won't kill her, but she's slowly escalating her plan to drive me nuts as we play this game of wills. Every morning is a new adventure in cat-itude. She's been laying in wait, trying to trip me when I'm carrying human food (THAT she's not picky about at all). This morning she woke me up at 5:30 by jumping on the bed and meowing in my face. Then once I was up, she decided that the best thing to do was to sit on my desk between me and the keyboard, purring loudly, and when I put her back on the floor, she proceeded to pat at my arm until I picked her up again. (Like I said, she's a brat, but she's so damn cute and loveable... ) Last night while I was trying to get some words out, she did the same thing.

In this test of wills, I know I will lose. I'd hold firm, but she's so damn insidious with her attacks. The purring, the tilted head and wide eyes, the gentle pats to get my attention, the snuggling up on my chest and rubbing her face against my chin - as if she really does love me. Pure evil. And now she's even got my husband under her spell. "Isn't there something else you can buy for her that she likes?" he says to me before he leaves for work.


Thus, the trip for a wildly expensive bag of IAMS.

She probably won't like that either.

**UPDATE: And the winner is... PURINA ONE! At least, I think she might like it. She didn't eat much, but then again we interrupted one of her frequent naps to show her the new food. In nap vs. food, nap won.



Kristen Painter said...

Have you tried dog food? Maybe she'd like that better.

JenWriter said...

Hahahahahaha. Oh, this cracked me up. My cats are tricky as well, and they get by with pretty much whatever they want because I can't stand up to their cute, furry faces.