Rewriting this sucker has been like pulling teeth. I don't think I've had this hard a time yet with anything I've edited.
On the bright side, I think I hit on what was killing me on this. I hadn't found what was making my MC tick. His voice wasn't ringing true for me. Well, I think I hit it tonight. Might have to go back over the first couple bits again to make sure everything is consistent, but it shouldn't be a problem.
Heh. Thought you could get away from me, eh Dennis? Well, I'll show you. Bwa ha ha. Another character falls under the writer's spell.
23 hours ago