The Necessity of Self-Assurance

One thing about writing that may seem pretty obvious, but which really isn't:

You need self-assurance to pull this off.

I think self-doubt is the biggest reason why so many people have half-finished manuscripts lying round their house--untouched but not forgotten. Oh, I'm sure some think it's pure laziness - or at least that's as good an excuse as any. But when you dig deeper and see what that supposed laziness is based on, you'll find a person who has no confidence in their ability to write a book.

Sometimes it's a lack of confidence based on a lack of knowledge. Sometimes, it's a lack of confidence based on a lack of drive. Both are rectifiable. I know for me, it was a bit of both. I started writing my first book (well, co-writing anyway) when I was 14. I never finished it. I started writing no less than four separate romance novels over the course of 10 years and never finished them. I knew I wanted to write, but for one reason or another, I lacked the self-assurance necessary to actually do it.

At 14, I didn't think anyone would want a book written by a kid. (Eragon proved me wrong twenty years later, but by then it was too late.)

At 25, I was laughed at and told no one would want to read a book I wrote. (This was the worst blow to my self-assurance, and it killed my books in their infancy - for over a decade.)

When I started Spectacle, I was told early on my premise wouldn't work, and I shouldn't bother writing it. Fortunately for me, the story was so strong inside me, I wrote it anyway.

Even now, the old self-doubt niggles at me. It's the old self-doubt in a different costume, but it's my nemesis nonetheless. Now instead of saying I'll never finish a book, it tells me I'll never sell a book. It tells me I'll never sell because I don't write well enough, or my premises are faulty, or my POV is passe, or I'm not trendy/exciting/important (insert adjective of choice here) enough for people to want to read my work.

It's eating at me right now, as a matter of fact - like a fly at a Sunday picnic. But as my father always used to joke - "They don't eat much." I just need to wave it away, and get back to work.

Because no matter what the self-doubt says. I can write this, I am good at this, and I won't let anyone - not even my subconscience - tell me differently.

Self-assurance, you see, doesn't mean never doubting yourself. It's the courage to keep going despite the doubts, and knowing you'll win in the end.