When Being Nice Stinks

I was having a discussion with a writer friend of mine the other day, and she was lamenting a problem she was having with a particularly pesky and annoying hopeful writer. It seems this other writer was sending tons of email everyday asking for her help in writing a query letter, and when my friend gave her suggestions, she blew them off and did numerous rewrites without taking any of my friend's informed advice to heart. And to top it off, this person got snippy with my friend. (Which is why I asked my friend if she wanted me to 'rough her up'. LOL)

Now my friend is a nice person, and she's been very insightful with her comments on both my writing and my query letters. I'm wondering what in the hell this other person's problem is. She asked for advice; she got it. She ignored it. Then she got snitty and wanted more advice. (Can you say 'bite the hand that feeds you'? Bad dog.) If this person had paid any attention the first fifteen million times, she would've gotten pearls of wisdom. Instead, she irritated someone who could have been a valuable resource.

Over at Murder She Writes, Natalie R. Collins (in her post From the Mailbag) runs into some similar problems with people who e-mail her looking for her help. I mean, sheesh, the woman is busy busy busy. Even if she wanted to, she doesn't have time to read every manuscript some anonymous person wants her to blurb, or wants her help on. Leave busy people alone and be glad Natalie, and others like her, take the time to share their pearls of wisdom with the rest of the world.

I'm aware of the thousands of people out there who need help. (Tens of thousands?) Heck, I needed help myself. The most important piece of advice I could ever give anyone, though, is this:

Get up off your butt and learn. Pick up a book on writing. Use Google. Find the information on your own. If you still need help, join a writer's group of some sort. And when someone gives you advice, LISTEN. (Although as always, I suggest you Consider the Source.) You'd be surprised how much your writing will improve.

Otherwise, you're just running around pissing off people and screwing it up for the next person - who might be willing to take the advice you so callously threw away.